Heh, I found something pretty entertaining in my perusing of blogs today:
Pastor Search Committee Report
In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each, should you be interested in investigating them further for future pastoral placements.
NOAH
He has 120 years of preaching experience, but no converts.
MOSES
He stutters and his former congregation says he loses his temper over trivial things.
ABRAHAM
He took off to Egypt during hard times. We heard that he got into trouble with the authorities and then tried to lie his way out.
DAVID
He is an unacceptable moral character. He might have been considered for minister of music had he not ‘fallen.’
SOLOMON
He has a reputation for wisdom but fails to practice what he preaches.
ELIJAH
He proved to be inconsistent and is known to fold under pressure.
HOSEA
His family life is in shambles. Divorced, and remarried to a prostitute.
JEREMIAH
He is too emotional, alarmist; some say a real ‘pain in the neck.’
AMOS
Comes from a farming background. Better off picking figs.
JOHN
He says he is a Baptist, but lacks tact and dresses like a hippie. Would not feel comfortable at a church potluck supper.
PETER
Has a bad temper and was heard to have even denied Christ publicly.
PAUL
We found him to lack tact. He is too harsh, his appearance is contemptible, and he preached far too long.
TIMOTHY
He has potential but is much too young for the position.
JESUS
He tends to offend church members with his preaching, especially Bible scholars. He is also too controversial. He even offended the search committee with his pointed questions.
SPECIAL NOTE: Not one of the candidates possessed a master of divinity degree nor were any of them ordained in a denomination. Imagine that!!
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I found that to be quite amusing.
Yeah, I am still managing the occasional blog, I am attempting to get back into some kind of normal routine to keep from going stark raving mad.
Er, yeah. Merry Xmas and Happy Hanukkah!
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