Most of my friends (though not my family) know that my husband and I are not going to have children. It’s not a temporary “oh I will NEVER have kids” rant that most people have at some point in life. We aren’t going to have children, and that is a permanent decision.

Have I ever felt maternal or wondered what it would be like to be a mother? Yes, of course. I am human after all. All the cute babies and loving parents in the world aren’t going to make me choose motherhood, however.

My husband had a vasectomy, and if I had the money I would be sterilized as well, to further assure that “accidents” would never happen.

I do not hate children. I have been around children my entire life, practically raising some of my nieces and nephews. I’ve held babies, changed diapers, watched first steps and laughed at first words. I love babies. They are precious and adorable. I’m actually good with babies.

So why do I not want to be a parent? Partially because I am selfish. I do not want to devote my life to someone who will eventually leave. I devote my life to my husband…I do not need a child to fill some void in my psyche.

Secondly, I do not want to be responsible for someone’s life, care and wellbeing. I am generally lazy and self centered, and I do not want to risk not feeling motivated to care for my own child.

I have horrible genes. Emotional issues and sexual deviance run amuck in my family tree…it’s likely my child would bear the same stigma. I wouldn’t wish my genes on anyone, so I am not going to even consider bearing a child!

I don’t want to raise a child and just “get by” financially. I would be the world’s worst snob when it came to my child, its home and its education. I simply cannot afford the lifestyle I would demand from my child.

My paranoia issues would likely be the downfall of me, worrying about this or that when it came to my child. I would end up hating myself.

Not having children may seem like the most selfish act in the world, but having a child can be even more selfish.