Other than my other obvious problems (being a retarded, paranoid slut), I have been extremely lethargic and unfocused this week, especially at work. I have to force myself to do anything remotely productive…I just can’t make myself care. It fucking sucks.
Granted I am getting my tasks done, but it is taking about 3 times the effort that it normally does. I am either mentally exhausted from the weekend, physically exhausted from being a fat ass, or just adjusting to going to school and such.
The last few weeks I had felt like I am unravelling, like I needed a serious defrag and reboot. Now I feel like I am freezing up and I have no more disk space to spare. I am getting dangerously close to needing an entire reformat, but I think my power supply might die before I get around to actually doing anything about it. Basically, I just need a good vacation to unwind, regroup and RELAX. I would love to take another trip to Eureka Springs this fall, lay in a big comfy bed and just BE.
I am very tired right now, but I can’t bring myself to actually sleep. I am freaking out about a few angry looking stretch marks I found on my thighs, and tortured by the feeling that I am getting so, so old. I want to just stop, just back pedal, just do something to stop this downward slide of aging that is sucking my life away.
Life sucks, and then you die.
The End.
Leave a Reply