I'm thankful for my family and loved ones this week. As much as I tend to complain about everyone and everything, we still have to be there for one another when we need each other. 

This week, today especially, has been the single most difficult time to deal with that I can remember. Today I helped plan my brother's funeral…something I never imagined I would do. The thought that I am never going to see him again…the guilt that I didn't say "I love you" when I answered his last email to me…wondering if he knew how much I loved him…it's all in my head and it hurts. I know that everyone goes through these feelings, but that doesn't really make it any easier.

I walked through a field today, and saw the wreckage of my brother's truck. All the "what ifs" flooded my mind, even though I know it's completely pointless to think that way.

Until I saw the wreckage and the site, I wondered if he could have made it if he had been wearing a seatbelt. It's not likely, after flipping a vehicle end over end at about 100 mph, but I had to wonder.

KFVS12, the local news station, did a story about the accident and the importance of wearing seatbelts. 

If you want to read the story, and see a picture that would give anyone a reason to slow down and buckle up, click here. 

I'm not sure how I am going to handle the next two days, the funeral and everything. I do want to thank everyone for their kindness this week, especially my boss, who has been beyond understanding this week.