Apparently, on top of my wonderful summer, I've ended up being a bitch to everyone around me. I'm not trying to be a bitch, and I care about all my friends, I just don't know how to deal with work stress, family stress, ME stress and still be the person everyone wants and expects me to be. I know part of it is because I haven't been socializing as of late. It's not that I haven't missed hanging out with all my friends, but it's all I can do to hold myself together without breaking down or screaming. I love my job, that's not really an issue…I just have a lot more pressure on me than I think people realize. I have to be on top of my game, all the time, and it seems that I am never on top of my game any more. I need something, to help me focus. I need something in my life to change so I can cope with everything in my life better.
No, that's wrong.
"I" need to change. I know that, but everything in me is protesting the changes that I should make. I don't have the energy, or the time, or a million other excuses.
Here's to mediocrity, and leaving it all behind. Or embracing it.
Actually, here's to hoping I have a month with no drama, and less to be depressed about.
Now I am going to try to get a good night's sleep, and be a better person tomorrow.
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